Shirt – Lavish Limo

NEW SHIRT IDEA…

Let us know your thoughts!  If we get enough interest in this one, we’ll take it to the next step and get these bad boys P-R-I-N-T-E-D!

This idea came to me last Saturday when I had the privilege of being one of the 4 groomsmen at my cousin’s Marty’s wedding.

Boy was it hot out that day…  It really didn’t help that we were all out in full-on suits and the ceremony was outdoors in the middle of the day!

Our saving grace that day was the limo that we got to sit in, in between the ceremony, picture taking and reception.  That glorious air-conditioned interior with its leather cushy leather seats and tasty refreshingly cool alcoholic refreshments were the love of my life that day.

Speaking of limos… here’s quick shameless plug for a buddy of mine in Vancouver who runs a limo company.  I think it’s called VanCity Limousines.  I was up visiting in Vancouver one time and my buddy took me for a tour ’round town.  Had a blast!  Thanks buddy.

The only thing that made sitting in that limo better than the air-con, leather seats and refreshments…  was the moment that IT happened…

PS, Marty, if you’re reading this, I really enjoyed your wedding day.  Right now, I’m just talking about the part of the day when I was in the limo.  Cool?  No hard feelings.  ;)  Back to the story…

First, a little background.  Our limo driver for that day was a dude that goes by the name of Eduardo.  He was a skinny Mexican or Spanish guy—I can’t never tell the difference…  I know that sounds awfully racist, but hey… this site’s all about being blunt and offensive. =)

The ceremony had just finished and Eduardo had driven us to the park down the street to take some photos by the flower garden they have there.  We were all posing and Eduardo was hanging out nearby about 50 feet away.  Suddenly the bride slips backwards and lands in a mud puddle.

Yes, it was tragic for the dress and for the stress it caused on everyone else for the rest of the day… but the next 30 seconds was wonderful.  Two seconds after she fell, Eduardo comes sprinting over at full speed and yells out at the top of his lungs the following words…

“It’s OK!… I’m a limo driver!”

And he said it sort of how you’d expect Mario would say it.  (yes, I’m talking about the video game plumber guy).

It came out a little more like “It’s-a O-Kay!… I’m a lee-mo driver!”

The girls were really panicked, but the guys were on the floor laughing.  I know… we’re all jerks.

At that moment, I felt like I was inside of a Napoleon Dynamite movie…

So Eduardo… thanks for being you.  THIS shirt’s for you, buddy…  Thank you for the inspiration.

Here’s the first draft.  What do you think?

limo-driver-shirt

Hilarious?  I think so…

“It’s OK!….  I’m a limo driver

LOL…!  Oh Eduardo, you sly dog, you…

Oh yeah… Eduardo, head on over to this post and pick that shirt up for yourself.  We know it must get a little boring driving that limo around all day long.  You might as well make things a little more exciting—you’ll thank us later. ;)

Send in the love and likes.  We’ll see how things go and if ya’ll love this as much as we did here, we’ll polish this up and get it out to production!

Here’s to all great limo drivers out there:

Baby Day

Here at ShockerTees, we’re family people.

We obviously love clever witty shirts.  We also love babies.  Shirts and babies are a wonderful combination for the following reasons:

  1. babies can’t read
  2. babies don’t really care about what they’re wearing, as long as it allows them to carry out their daily functions comfortably… eat, sleep and poop.
  3. babies make the perfect canvas to stuff hilarious words into their mouths.
  4. babies get a lot of attention, so their shirts get a lot of attention.

Today, we’re going to highlight some of the best shirt designs we’ve seen on babies.

Let’s get down to business…

Baby-Shirts-01Attention lazy drunkard fathers… you’ll all love this shirt on your babies.  This one’s a really great one to take to those family BBQs when you want to have someone on your side to support you in your reckless drinking habits.  If he can make it look cute, your chances of getting away with it are that much better.  Just look at that kid’s face.  Looks like he’s eying his next drink already.

 

Baby-Shirts-02Another classic one to take to big parties where babies get passed around all the time.  This one’s a great way to break the ice.  Imagine walking into the room with your child and just handing your precious child around to set the record straight.  You child becomes an instant conversation starter.  For some, the truth will be more obvious than others.  For your more ignorant conceited friends, this is one easy way to do them and everyone else a favor without looking like a judgmental prick.  This one’s definitely a keeper!

 

Baby-Shirts-03This next one goes over well with people who don’t get any, if you know what I mean.  This one gets a lot of attention for moms who are willing to walk around in public with low cut shirts.  I mean, how will any guy walk past you and your child without thinking or looking at your child’s breakfast?

 

Baby-Shirts-04I think this shirt caters more to dads.  Dads will want to get this shirt for the kids to get them onto their side when they want to play the blame game on mom.  “Pops and I aren’t responsible for my being here… it was all Momma’s fault.  She couldn’t keep her hands to herself!”

 

Baby-Shirts-05Moms will really love this shirt.  Got a monster in law that’s always trying to shove her archaic child-rearing best practices down your throat?  Wanna tell her to back off but not sure how to break it to her gently?  You can only smile and nod so much.  Just throw this happy shirt on your little loved one and your problem is solved.  It’s great watching those 10 seconds as your MIL squints at the letters to decipher the message.  If she gives you any crap about putting that shirt on your kid, just say “oh, someone gave it to me as a gift.  We were in a hurry and I just threw it on lil Percy.”

Like these shirts?  Got some problems that a clever shirt can solve?  Let us know and we’ll see if we can work our witty t-shirt wizardry.

Shirt – Roadhead

Here at Shockertees, we’re all about being hilariously funny.  And by “hilariously funny”, we usually mean extremely rude and offensive.

Following our last shirt post on virgins…

Let’s say you go that shirt.  You wear it around, turning yourself into an instant live walking advert to attract virgins.  In no time, you snap one up.  The next logical step is to get into your car and put on the shirt that we’re going to introduce to you today…

Introducing… Roadhead.

This brilliant new gem in our line of awesomely awesome cool shirts takes it to the next level.  You’re on the road with your new companion and the shirt does all the hinting, suggesting and talking for you.

One word… ROADHEAD.

There you have it.  You’re welcome!

Shirt – Virgins

Was talking to my buddy last week while chilling at Whitespot.

We were going to go to our typical Ramen place, but we’ve been going there for like a month straight—so Whitespot it was.

We got to talking about some new shirt ideas and I came up with a rather brilliant one, if I do say so myself.

There’s basically a large simple sign on the front of the shirt that says in large text:

VIRGINS WANTED…
(no experience necessary)

Hilarious… I know.  My buddy thought it was pretty great too.  We’re planning on doing the rough draft of it this weekend.  And hopefully in a month’s time (or two), we’ll have some of these bad boys ready to go for y’all to check out and BUY.

These shirts will turn you into walking advertisements.  If they work as well as we plan… you’ll get some willing applicants in no time. ;)